Hello kingdom folk.
To just keep on the positive today, I moved stuff from one storage unit to another, ate pretty decently, walked 10000 steps, and did my 30 narrow push ups, and 200 calories on elliptical.
Rinsed my hair out and put in my favorite stuff and now talking to a friend of mine...well trying to between messenger acting up.
I am ready to conquer good old HALLOWEEN TOMORROW!! Ima just wear the Akatsuki jacket and whatnot between work and spoken word and possibly this night event downtown.
Oh, before I forget, looked at the option of...you ready for this...dildos today. Now you probably like wth at this point but hear me out...after really thinking about it and my views and the time table of me and my boyfriend having to stay together in the hopes of us going to Japan in 2020 to really see how we deal with each other, as well as enjoy ourselves away from friends and family, I thought why not use a dildo while I'm waiting. I been waiting for all my life anyway and there's no "moral" issue holding me back...not really. But I am on the fence about him penetrating me first, you know, when the time comes, vs doing it with a dildo first. So yeah...figuring that out now.
It's exciting, because as weird as it seems, it's keeping me goal oriented toward us being together. I mean I want this to be the man I stay with forever and we are at the start of our relationship and now we are at the point where we know that as long as we are 4 hours apart, might as well work hard, plan trips for the future, and simply make money happen so we can fulfill our plans...eventually leading to the trip in Japan, and if all goes like I want, Japan will the defining moment of forever, but enough on that later. Gonna research "stuff." More on my November goals tomorrow. Sleep well fam.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Monday, October 29, 2018
Day 540, 541, and 542
good evening kingdom folk.
Ima just say I did about 1.8 days of fasting before the mess I call Friday occurred and then had an awesome Saturday and now here we are at Monday night.
Today me and boyfriend discussed questions, scary movies we wanna watch, and look forward to jumping back on the wagon to intermittent fasting and hope to be 200 by November 30.
I will have over 40 hour work weeks from now to the last week of November, which means I can look over Spanish, Japanese, and biology. I can possibly do sign language, and catch up on movies/series I ain't completed...and money for December, yay.
Once I get back into routine, I can look forward to 31 days of winter cosplay, and boyfriend and I want to do catwoman and batman since we couldn't do it together this weekend that just passed.
Once I get back into routine, I can look forward to 31 days of winter cosplay, and boyfriend and I want to do catwoman and batman since we couldn't do it together this weekend that just passed.
I also came to a high conclusion about religion being bogus to me. By this I mean that the bible is contradictory and it's sad that the controlling of ppl is taking place. Not saying I want people to drop their religion and just stop believing, but for me, as an already agnostic, I feel that once ppl find the piece of information they are searching for pertaining to their lives, they will either be thoroughly pissed, amused, or both. I looked up contradictions in the bible today, and saw something that took me to the pinnacle of the bs. The highest that I can take. I can't for some reason call myself atheist, but I feel free from the religion game. (https://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBAttachments/101_Contradictions_In_The_Bible.pdf)
My idea of sex is what keeps me at odds. Clearly without using the bible or religion in general as a base, I kept sex to marriage bc it felt safer that way, but there's no rule but my own and I'm not going to hell for having sex early, so this is where I am now. My boyfriend knows I want to wait but doesn't know that I'm considering having sex with him early. I would love for it to be on our Japan trip in 2020, but who knows. In the meantime, I urge a small step toward whatever you want to do. I'm minimizing my health life down to push ups (wide vs narrow) and elliptical until im under 210. Until next post, be safe, tell ppl you love em, shoot for your dreams, and good night.
My idea of sex is what keeps me at odds. Clearly without using the bible or religion in general as a base, I kept sex to marriage bc it felt safer that way, but there's no rule but my own and I'm not going to hell for having sex early, so this is where I am now. My boyfriend knows I want to wait but doesn't know that I'm considering having sex with him early. I would love for it to be on our Japan trip in 2020, but who knows. In the meantime, I urge a small step toward whatever you want to do. I'm minimizing my health life down to push ups (wide vs narrow) and elliptical until im under 210. Until next post, be safe, tell ppl you love em, shoot for your dreams, and good night.
Friday, October 26, 2018
Day 539 Part 2
Hello kingdom folk.
Today was garbage. Point blank. Straight up garbage. FUCK TODAY!!
More tomorrow. Good night!
Today was garbage. Point blank. Straight up garbage. FUCK TODAY!!
More tomorrow. Good night!
Day 538 and 539 Part 1
Hello Kingdom folk.
Currently at work and I am fucking cold. Like my coworker said she turned on the heat and my understanding was if we turn on the heat, or rather, up the heat, the youth would get hot in their rooms, but so far, it still cold and their rooms are fine. My feet and nose have been cold since midnight and I plan on leaving from here around 8:05.
Phone didn't want to charge it seems this afternoon and so I went the whole evening without being on it. Got to turn is on a few hours ago and realized that it's charging, but won't show how much is charged on the front when off or on. Simply put, get a new battery.
I went to jsr yesterday and emailed admissions about transcripts and whatnot else. I also got info from 2 nursing students about the program. Ran into two ppl I liked and chatted with for a bit, went to the library to get some info, and then left. Tonight I went over biology, Spanish, and Japanese. Quite excited.
Did I mention I was cold? This is the most irritating part about working overnight. No matter what I put on, it still cold, smh
on to the positive, talking to yall, and did message my boyfriend today. He's proud of me that I'm going to nursing school, well at least trying to get in. I'm estimating that by the time im in my second year, he should be finishing his prereqs or at least starting his first year...hopefully, I have faith in him.
Today is the day that I had planned for him to come but as you know, life sucks, so no go. It would be cool and crazy and a surprise if he did come and just not tell me. I have the weekend off so it'd be totally fine. But it's wishful thinking on my part. Also, Im now on the second day of my fast. So far so good. Until later.
Currently at work and I am fucking cold. Like my coworker said she turned on the heat and my understanding was if we turn on the heat, or rather, up the heat, the youth would get hot in their rooms, but so far, it still cold and their rooms are fine. My feet and nose have been cold since midnight and I plan on leaving from here around 8:05.
Phone didn't want to charge it seems this afternoon and so I went the whole evening without being on it. Got to turn is on a few hours ago and realized that it's charging, but won't show how much is charged on the front when off or on. Simply put, get a new battery.
I went to jsr yesterday and emailed admissions about transcripts and whatnot else. I also got info from 2 nursing students about the program. Ran into two ppl I liked and chatted with for a bit, went to the library to get some info, and then left. Tonight I went over biology, Spanish, and Japanese. Quite excited.
Did I mention I was cold? This is the most irritating part about working overnight. No matter what I put on, it still cold, smh
on to the positive, talking to yall, and did message my boyfriend today. He's proud of me that I'm going to nursing school, well at least trying to get in. I'm estimating that by the time im in my second year, he should be finishing his prereqs or at least starting his first year...hopefully, I have faith in him.
Today is the day that I had planned for him to come but as you know, life sucks, so no go. It would be cool and crazy and a surprise if he did come and just not tell me. I have the weekend off so it'd be totally fine. But it's wishful thinking on my part. Also, Im now on the second day of my fast. So far so good. Until later.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Day 537
Hello Kingdom folk.
So today was suppose to be the first day of fasting and it went down the drain so I'm starting tomorrow.
On a positive, my nephew and I had grand fun on the trip to the pumpkin patch and I snagged 3 in total. You know, he got one, I got one, and I snagged another lol. That third one was worth the way the trip was "organized." But it's over now, I got pics of us, and fasting forward to this evening, I decided to stay home, and do stuff on my ps4, which im starting to do more of.
Family was loud as shit in the living room while I played Brawlhalla and talked to my friend on the phone. Afterward, I danced to music (yay for getting steps in) and watch a youtube vid called The 2,000,000 caloried buffet. Man every time I see ppl eat, like eat eat over like 3000 calories, I flinch bc my stomach does have a stopping point. But it is STILL interesting to see ppl try these buffet people like they really gonna eat 10 plates of food. Hell nah bruh.
Anywho, gonna finish watching then head to bed. Until tomorrow. Sleep well.
So today was suppose to be the first day of fasting and it went down the drain so I'm starting tomorrow.
On a positive, my nephew and I had grand fun on the trip to the pumpkin patch and I snagged 3 in total. You know, he got one, I got one, and I snagged another lol. That third one was worth the way the trip was "organized." But it's over now, I got pics of us, and fasting forward to this evening, I decided to stay home, and do stuff on my ps4, which im starting to do more of.
Family was loud as shit in the living room while I played Brawlhalla and talked to my friend on the phone. Afterward, I danced to music (yay for getting steps in) and watch a youtube vid called The 2,000,000 caloried buffet. Man every time I see ppl eat, like eat eat over like 3000 calories, I flinch bc my stomach does have a stopping point. But it is STILL interesting to see ppl try these buffet people like they really gonna eat 10 plates of food. Hell nah bruh.
Anywho, gonna finish watching then head to bed. Until tomorrow. Sleep well.
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Day 536 Part 2
Hello Kingdom folk. About to head to bed so that my nephew and I can go to the pumpkin patch for his school field trip. Haven't been in a while...maybe 2 decades lol.
Bringing it back, I am going to fast today up til Saturday at midnight. If I can help it, I'll fast up til Monday at midnight to re-start my system. Immune system and all that. Also, I like using fasting as a way to discipline myself. Get my water intake in and get back to properly working out. I ate my junk, I overate my full, and now its time to get back in life mode. I'm AM going to hit 200 next month, might not be on a particular date, but I will hit it next month and then my final goal of 180 (sub 170 in order to gain 10 pound of muscle) by December...hopefully before he comes down or I go up.
Other than this, time to hop this shower and get this rest.
Once I hit my goal, I can work on secret cosplay, more Deidara, and Nygus...hell I can just start in order, but more on that later. Good night fam.
Bringing it back, I am going to fast today up til Saturday at midnight. If I can help it, I'll fast up til Monday at midnight to re-start my system. Immune system and all that. Also, I like using fasting as a way to discipline myself. Get my water intake in and get back to properly working out. I ate my junk, I overate my full, and now its time to get back in life mode. I'm AM going to hit 200 next month, might not be on a particular date, but I will hit it next month and then my final goal of 180 (sub 170 in order to gain 10 pound of muscle) by December...hopefully before he comes down or I go up.
Other than this, time to hop this shower and get this rest.
Once I hit my goal, I can work on secret cosplay, more Deidara, and Nygus...hell I can just start in order, but more on that later. Good night fam.
Day 532-536 part 1
Hello Kingdom folk.
Im currently at my overnight job (I get off technically at 9am) and there is something that I been wanting to get off my chest. I feel I overcompensate in groups where I'm trying to fit in. Not saying my co-workers don't know I am friendly, but I do a lot of cleaning, of my own will, at my job, and I know it connects to me being a good worker but also, my coworkers can't say I am not a good person overall, if that makes sense. I feel left out and I guess when they are talking and I'm unaware of what they are talking about, it makes me feel blah (if that all makes sense).
On a positive note, my boyfriend and I have been sending regular messages back and forth as usual, you know, morning hon, have a good day at work babe, asking questions about each other still to pass the day, and mini goals and stuff to do for next year. I feel everything I'm thinking, he has already made a plan to do it. For example, I remember telling myself that I would kiss him at the convention in July for Blerdcon and he did it first, which threw me off. While at six flags, he bought up the idea to move in within the next 1.5 to 2 years before I even said anything. His reasoning: we are like 4 hours apart. A few days ago while sending messages he said he had something he wanted to say to me face to face next time we get together, which will be December if not November. I'm not getting my hopes up as it could be anything. Even though, if he proposes I would probably faint lol, but that's not what I think he's gonna say. I have two gifts to give to him and something I wanna say as well, but i'll get into it more later on.
Well, I am back in the 220s after falling off after being angry that my boyfriend couldn't come this weekend. I will have to get back on so I can be 200 by at LEAST the end of next month. Until next post!!
Im currently at my overnight job (I get off technically at 9am) and there is something that I been wanting to get off my chest. I feel I overcompensate in groups where I'm trying to fit in. Not saying my co-workers don't know I am friendly, but I do a lot of cleaning, of my own will, at my job, and I know it connects to me being a good worker but also, my coworkers can't say I am not a good person overall, if that makes sense. I feel left out and I guess when they are talking and I'm unaware of what they are talking about, it makes me feel blah (if that all makes sense).
On a positive note, my boyfriend and I have been sending regular messages back and forth as usual, you know, morning hon, have a good day at work babe, asking questions about each other still to pass the day, and mini goals and stuff to do for next year. I feel everything I'm thinking, he has already made a plan to do it. For example, I remember telling myself that I would kiss him at the convention in July for Blerdcon and he did it first, which threw me off. While at six flags, he bought up the idea to move in within the next 1.5 to 2 years before I even said anything. His reasoning: we are like 4 hours apart. A few days ago while sending messages he said he had something he wanted to say to me face to face next time we get together, which will be December if not November. I'm not getting my hopes up as it could be anything. Even though, if he proposes I would probably faint lol, but that's not what I think he's gonna say. I have two gifts to give to him and something I wanna say as well, but i'll get into it more later on.
Well, I am back in the 220s after falling off after being angry that my boyfriend couldn't come this weekend. I will have to get back on so I can be 200 by at LEAST the end of next month. Until next post!!
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Days 522-531
HELLO!! GOOD KINGDOM FOLK!!
I'm just gonna start off saying I hope ppl were safe from the storms we had in the south and on the east coast last week. 2nd, gonna spiel about my weekend with my boyfriend in Philly.
IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!
I arrived Friday at 10:45 am and by the afternoon was with our friends buying clothes and asking stupid inappropriate questions while eating at Mcdonalds. That was great. Played with the pull up bar for a while and that was interesting. And saw venom. Bruh, venom had me looking at my boyfriend like "you need to cosplay venom right NOW."
Saturday we went to six flags after breakfast at a pancake place and meeting his aunt and cousin. Six flags was the bomb. so many rides and talk about our future while in some of the lines.
Sunday we work up late, and bought comics, and chilled at a ramen shop in jersey.
The whole weekend was so great, we talked about it Saturday night and was like "if we don't go to work Monday and make money, we won't be able to see each other." LOL. So this week I'm going easy doing one job but I will start my hours back at the other on Sunday. I also messed up with food today (for another post) and am back to 220s but im happy to even be this size and did great by not taking a laxative but drinking water. I'm doing well as far as watching myself and just learning from my mistakes. Can do 30 push ups max and looking forward to working out everyday lol. Well, friend is messaging me, more later. Get your hours of sleep in people. GN.
I'm just gonna start off saying I hope ppl were safe from the storms we had in the south and on the east coast last week. 2nd, gonna spiel about my weekend with my boyfriend in Philly.
IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!
I arrived Friday at 10:45 am and by the afternoon was with our friends buying clothes and asking stupid inappropriate questions while eating at Mcdonalds. That was great. Played with the pull up bar for a while and that was interesting. And saw venom. Bruh, venom had me looking at my boyfriend like "you need to cosplay venom right NOW."
Saturday we went to six flags after breakfast at a pancake place and meeting his aunt and cousin. Six flags was the bomb. so many rides and talk about our future while in some of the lines.
Sunday we work up late, and bought comics, and chilled at a ramen shop in jersey.
The whole weekend was so great, we talked about it Saturday night and was like "if we don't go to work Monday and make money, we won't be able to see each other." LOL. So this week I'm going easy doing one job but I will start my hours back at the other on Sunday. I also messed up with food today (for another post) and am back to 220s but im happy to even be this size and did great by not taking a laxative but drinking water. I'm doing well as far as watching myself and just learning from my mistakes. Can do 30 push ups max and looking forward to working out everyday lol. Well, friend is messaging me, more later. Get your hours of sleep in people. GN.
Monday, October 8, 2018
Day 521
Hello kingdom folk. Today was a better day.
About my bday, so on Thursday, which was my actual bday, I expected to see some family when I got home from work and eat my carrot cake. Didn't happen bc my youngest sister planned last minute for people to come Friday. I understand it starts the weekend, but I was irritated and I like eating cake with family. So Friday come, I get off, my other sister and brother in law (with niece and nephew)come, my cousin come and spend like a fucking hour on the phone, my brother and male cousin come with his friend (we like her) and of course my dad came after his work shift at 10:30 in which everyone went home. Seems like they probably invited 10 or 12 more ppl BUT ppl couldn't come or didn't respond. That irritated me. I did dance and whatnot and had fun drinking a bit but I wanted to see ppl I ain't see in a while.
Fast forward to Saturday and the two street festival (which is annual in RVA). It was great. Had food, bought clothes, saw another cousin, and afterwards I went to this place called Treat Shop which my sister's friend family own. It was cool. Went to carnival but it was a long line for tickets, so went home. But Saturday was dope.
Sunday is when the trick fucked up my day, but fast forwarding to the night time, I drank water, went to the bathroom to clean myself out and made a vow in the shower that I will not continue with the behavior I have been producing the last few weeks of my weight loss journey. It honestly, like honestly, feels like I am heading toward bulimia territory. Im not measuring my fluids to match what I ate or throwing up or anything like that, but I have overate these past two weeks in celebration of bday and other things and now Im back to 225 or at minimum 222. I did work out today and did extremely well. I'll talk about exercise bit tomorrow. But I want to encourage ppl with intermittent fasting, not turn them into bulimics or beginner bulimics. Here's to continuing my safe journey to 180. GN!!
About my bday, so on Thursday, which was my actual bday, I expected to see some family when I got home from work and eat my carrot cake. Didn't happen bc my youngest sister planned last minute for people to come Friday. I understand it starts the weekend, but I was irritated and I like eating cake with family. So Friday come, I get off, my other sister and brother in law (with niece and nephew)come, my cousin come and spend like a fucking hour on the phone, my brother and male cousin come with his friend (we like her) and of course my dad came after his work shift at 10:30 in which everyone went home. Seems like they probably invited 10 or 12 more ppl BUT ppl couldn't come or didn't respond. That irritated me. I did dance and whatnot and had fun drinking a bit but I wanted to see ppl I ain't see in a while.
Fast forward to Saturday and the two street festival (which is annual in RVA). It was great. Had food, bought clothes, saw another cousin, and afterwards I went to this place called Treat Shop which my sister's friend family own. It was cool. Went to carnival but it was a long line for tickets, so went home. But Saturday was dope.
Sunday is when the trick fucked up my day, but fast forwarding to the night time, I drank water, went to the bathroom to clean myself out and made a vow in the shower that I will not continue with the behavior I have been producing the last few weeks of my weight loss journey. It honestly, like honestly, feels like I am heading toward bulimia territory. Im not measuring my fluids to match what I ate or throwing up or anything like that, but I have overate these past two weeks in celebration of bday and other things and now Im back to 225 or at minimum 222. I did work out today and did extremely well. I'll talk about exercise bit tomorrow. But I want to encourage ppl with intermittent fasting, not turn them into bulimics or beginner bulimics. Here's to continuing my safe journey to 180. GN!!
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Days 517-520
Hello kingdom folk. Well, I'm quite tired and it has been a long long weekend. I don't feel like getting into about my bday, not really tonight, but I will get the negative part out the way...
So not sure if I mentioned it in the last post, but at my longer hours job, I ended up staying at a hospital for 2 separate shifts bc this teen did not do what she was suppose to. The second shift being my bday at 3 in the morning til past 9 in the morning. Fast forward to today, this trick didn't want to abide by rules, so she pulled my hair...fast forward...I'm done with this whole damn day. I'm ready to see my boyfriend this week coming.
Speaking of which, I have tons of cleaning up to do. Need to sweep, mop, dust, I already washed 90% of my clothes last week before bday, clean glass, clean car, polish stuff, wipe off stuff, clean both bathrooms, and put down borox. So my "uncle" had sprayed the house like 4 months ago and the house has been free of creepy crawlers, if I may say, and it's been like freedom, but the last 2 or 3 weeks, we have seen some and I ain't with it. Now it's "stink bug season" and they have found ways not only into the house, but the city overall. So tomorrow, as well as the rest of the week, I'm going in on my window.
Well, until next post. I'll put up more on bday later. Sleep well and happy fall.
So not sure if I mentioned it in the last post, but at my longer hours job, I ended up staying at a hospital for 2 separate shifts bc this teen did not do what she was suppose to. The second shift being my bday at 3 in the morning til past 9 in the morning. Fast forward to today, this trick didn't want to abide by rules, so she pulled my hair...fast forward...I'm done with this whole damn day. I'm ready to see my boyfriend this week coming.
Speaking of which, I have tons of cleaning up to do. Need to sweep, mop, dust, I already washed 90% of my clothes last week before bday, clean glass, clean car, polish stuff, wipe off stuff, clean both bathrooms, and put down borox. So my "uncle" had sprayed the house like 4 months ago and the house has been free of creepy crawlers, if I may say, and it's been like freedom, but the last 2 or 3 weeks, we have seen some and I ain't with it. Now it's "stink bug season" and they have found ways not only into the house, but the city overall. So tomorrow, as well as the rest of the week, I'm going in on my window.
Well, until next post. I'll put up more on bday later. Sleep well and happy fall.
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
Days 514 - 516
Hello kingdom folk. Soon it'll be October 4 (by the timing set of this post it is October 4 lol) and I'll be 29 years old. Due to allergies, mashing of days (overnight shifts from 11pm to 9 am), I am not as hyped about it as I would be. I'm tired, I'm going to spend part of my working shift in the hospital with one of my residents, and I still work my other job from 3 to 6. After that, i'm free, with the exception of working 3 to 6 on friday and then i don't work at all on saturday. I technically completed my 3 day fast and will probably weigh something like 215.8 when i get home around 9:30.
In other news, I started saving for stuff. The holidays, my parents anniversary gift, my japan trip in 2020 with boyfriend, and my surprise gift to him, and so all is doing okay for the moment. I do feel at times that when im in my room, I feel like there's something I'm not doing. Most of my mental energy goes toward work, money, my weight, work, bills, the car...and that's it...oh yeah, and sometimes taking my nephew to school. Other than that, that's all I'm focusing on. In between time, like overnight or on the weekend, of course I'm doing anime, but if my computer konks out on certain anime websites, then i have to do youtube or wishlist shop online.
Well, I have a few hours before i have to go to the hospital from my job. I will post about my "awesome" birthday later.
Also, if i had my way, i'd want a surprise birthday party, with friends and family, and homemade carrot cake (dad bought my favorite from food lion, which is still freaking awesome), video games, and probably watch one of my favorite movies. My guess for tomorrow is that im definitely eating cake, hopefully clam chowder and turkey meatballs (i'll explain later) and food in general since i'm off this fast. We shall see. Til next post!!
In other news, I started saving for stuff. The holidays, my parents anniversary gift, my japan trip in 2020 with boyfriend, and my surprise gift to him, and so all is doing okay for the moment. I do feel at times that when im in my room, I feel like there's something I'm not doing. Most of my mental energy goes toward work, money, my weight, work, bills, the car...and that's it...oh yeah, and sometimes taking my nephew to school. Other than that, that's all I'm focusing on. In between time, like overnight or on the weekend, of course I'm doing anime, but if my computer konks out on certain anime websites, then i have to do youtube or wishlist shop online.
Well, I have a few hours before i have to go to the hospital from my job. I will post about my "awesome" birthday later.
Also, if i had my way, i'd want a surprise birthday party, with friends and family, and homemade carrot cake (dad bought my favorite from food lion, which is still freaking awesome), video games, and probably watch one of my favorite movies. My guess for tomorrow is that im definitely eating cake, hopefully clam chowder and turkey meatballs (i'll explain later) and food in general since i'm off this fast. We shall see. Til next post!!
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