Day 608 Part 2

So, it's been a great day. I exercised and did push ups, squats, leg lifts on floor as substitute to thigh lifts on equipment, and pull up variation via modified bodyweight rows on straps. Did well.

I was offered full time at my residential youth counseling job...wit BENEFITS!!!! More on that later.

I came to the conclusion that after talking with student admissions at the community college I want to go to that I can accept the fact I may not be taking biology 101 this semester. Why? Because someone did not do my high school transcript stuff right. Surprisingly, I told my boyfriend I wasn't angry. I don't really know why I'm not angry. But he's glad I'm not because he said I sounded stress the last couple of days, and I was depressed feeling and my toothache and menstrual cramps didn't help either. However, I will take it as an opportunity to make as much money as possible before the summer and then start. It'll be like I was never behind. Summer, fall, spring, summer again, and hopefully finish up in fall. I can dig that.

Also, I told my boyfriend that since we want to be together for the rest of our lives, I have all the time in the world to do nursing. Realistically, I just wanted to be finished by 2020, by I can stand being done in 2021. At least I'm on a good path right now.

Had wanted to do stuff on my list, like my nails, soak my feet maybe, but I'll wait til tomorrow so I can get embroidery boards and butter myself up lol.

I feel that I will be at my weight goal at the end of March. 180 is the main goal, but as bf suggested, get to 170 and then once I start toning, the 10 pounds of muscle will look nice, equaling back to 180. Here's to 2019 and living life to the fullest...now if Trump can turn back on the federal government we can all get back to our lives. Here's to everyone working but not making any money, stay strong!!

Day 607 and 608 part 1

Hello ppl. Yesterday was a fucking better day I tell you. Starting on the 2nd I watched what I ate and went from 250 to 248.7. Yesterday I watched what I ate, was able to eat 3 times at low calorie counts, and went from 248.7 to 247.2. I believe I am back on track and quite happy with the changes that will occur this month.

For exercising yesterday I did a countdown of 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, twice for pushups, squats, and leg/thigh lifts on this equipment where you hold yourself on the arm rest and lift your legs/thighs to your stomach. It's almost like a standing sit up, I guess, so we'll just call it thigh lifts. Alright, cool!

I also did 100 calories on the Elliptical. I feel that my knee is not in the best shape, plus I was pressed for time, so 100 it was. I recommended to myself to push 200, but I feel that if I do what I'm supposed to then I won't have to, and I can just stick to the latter.

I also plan to put the pull up stretches (bodyweight rows) I've been doing in my stretches, into their own separate exercise so I can start doing pull ups...soon...in the next few months. I will incorporate these bodyweight rows by doing a separate set of 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, sets. Starting February, I'll do 7 down, and then in March 10 down. Hopefully by the third week in March I can see if I can do my first 2 pullups. If not, then I will continue until I reach 12 down and 15 down.

For info on the bodyweight rows go to https://www.manvsweight.com/pull-up-alternatives/ and look at the 2nd video. I will be using the stretch bands attached to bars at the gym so it won't be quite the same pull but it will get the job done.

On to breakfast, more later...I think.

Day 601 to 606

Hi.

So, I'm not happy, at all. I'm not into the happy new year mood and I haven't really said it to anyone.

I'm currently on the phone with my bf and he knew I was not happy, let me tell you why.

So yesterday (December 31 around 11:45pm) I was driving home from work to make it before the ball dropped so I can drink with my family like I usually do every year. Because this bitch, and yeah for now it's gonna be "bitch", caused an accident by hitting 2 cars, and left metal debris in the street. I rolled over it and my father had to follow me home. But most irritating is that I was in the middle of the street in my car with a metal piece stuck in my tire when it went from 11:59 to 12:00am. I cried when I got home, on the phone with my boyfriend, and I don't believe he was aware of it.

To add to this, I have a tooth that has a cavity, which I just got under control with multiple meds, and I started my period on the last fucking day of the year.

The only thing going for me is I'm getting paid this week, my blood work from the doctor came back clear (so happy) and I did fairly well on my intermittent fasting today, and I look forward to keeping up with going to the gym this month.

I'm not happy and won't be for a while...so yeah, goals this year: 180 by march, 1st year of school done, be full time with my current time, get birth control (possibly, I hate birth control, that's for another post), and as many cosplays on my list as possible. Night people.

Days 544 to 600...I know

Hey, been a long time, I know, it's ridiculous, but let me explain...

Since last post, basically Halloween, my boyfriend and I have been great, I fell off on weight loss, now back around 245, I have attained my MAT certification, AND today the middle school near my house with the program under the YMCA finally hired me today. Im so fucking excited.

Moving on to games and the holiday, my boyfriend got me a Pandora Charm bracelet, Garnet plushie, KH 358/2 days, and the second installment of Avatar the last Airbender. Spoiled.


I am going to workout tomorrow and post what I've done. Since the internet is acting up, I will stop here and pick up tomorrow. Also, happy holidays, merry Christmas, and happy first day of kwanzaa.

Day 543

Hello kingdom folk.

To just keep on the positive today, I moved stuff from one storage unit to another, ate pretty decently, walked 10000 steps, and did my 30 narrow push ups, and 200 calories on elliptical.

Rinsed my hair out and put in my favorite stuff and now talking to a friend of mine...well trying to between messenger acting up.

I am ready to conquer good old HALLOWEEN TOMORROW!! Ima just wear the Akatsuki jacket and whatnot between work and spoken word and possibly this night event downtown.

Oh, before I forget, looked at the option of...you ready for this...dildos today. Now you probably like wth at this point but hear me out...after really thinking about it and my views and the time table of me and my boyfriend having to stay together in the hopes of us going to Japan in 2020 to really see how we deal with each other, as well as enjoy ourselves away from friends and family, I thought why not use a dildo while I'm waiting. I been waiting for all my life anyway and there's no "moral" issue holding me back...not really. But I am on the fence about him penetrating me first, you know, when the time comes, vs doing it with a dildo first. So yeah...figuring that out now.

It's exciting, because as weird as it seems, it's keeping me goal oriented toward us being together. I mean I want this to be the man I stay with forever and we are at the start of our relationship and now we are at the point where we know that as long as we are 4 hours apart, might as well work hard, plan trips for the future, and simply make money happen so we can fulfill our plans...eventually leading to the trip in Japan, and if all goes like I want, Japan will the defining moment of forever, but enough on that later. Gonna research "stuff." More on my November goals tomorrow. Sleep well fam.

Day 540, 541, and 542

good evening kingdom folk.

Ima just say I did about 1.8 days of fasting before the mess I call Friday occurred and then had an awesome Saturday and now here we are at Monday night.

Today me and boyfriend discussed questions, scary movies we wanna watch, and look forward to jumping back on the wagon to intermittent fasting and hope to be 200 by November 30.

I will have over 40 hour work weeks from now to the last week of November, which means I can look over Spanish, Japanese, and biology. I can possibly do sign language, and catch up on movies/series I ain't completed...and money for December, yay.

Once I get back into routine, I can look forward to 31 days of winter cosplay, and boyfriend and I want to do catwoman and batman since we couldn't do it together this weekend that just passed. 

I also came to a high conclusion about religion being bogus to me. By this I mean that the bible is contradictory and it's sad that the controlling of ppl is taking place. Not saying I want people to drop their religion and just stop believing, but for me, as an already agnostic, I feel that once ppl find the piece of information they are searching for pertaining to their lives, they will either be thoroughly pissed, amused, or both. I looked up contradictions in the bible today, and saw something that took me to the pinnacle of the bs. The highest that I can take. I can't for some reason call myself atheist, but I feel free from the religion game. (https://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~wwu/YaBBAttachments/101_Contradictions_In_The_Bible.pdf)

My idea of sex is what keeps me at odds. Clearly without using the bible or religion in general as a base, I kept sex to marriage bc it felt safer that way, but there's no rule but my own and I'm not going to hell for having sex early, so this is where I am now. My boyfriend knows I want to wait but doesn't know that I'm considering having sex with him early. I would love for it to be on our Japan trip in 2020, but who knows. In the meantime, I urge a small step toward whatever you want to do. I'm minimizing my health life down to push ups (wide vs narrow) and elliptical until im under 210. Until next post, be safe, tell ppl you love em, shoot for your dreams, and good night. 

Day 539 Part 2

Hello kingdom folk.

Today was garbage. Point blank. Straight up garbage. FUCK TODAY!!

More tomorrow. Good night!